Armor in your integrity.
(Listen all y'all it's sabotage.)
The winter always feels like it drags on. We’re in a time warp - - the last month has felt like six, but the earth is about to wake up and grow into spring. Before we get carried away in this transition, I think it’s a good time to get some solid grounding. Today, I’ve pulled some highlights from previous posts that feel like they might be helpful right now. I hope they are.
Because now, you’ll probably need to hear it…
Okay. Now get on to reading…
Not surprisingly, my bandwidth lately has been pretty narrow. I’m walking the tightrope trying to keep balance. The deluge of daily news is shocking all senses and systems. I know that’s likely true for a lot of us. It’s important to stay informed, but knowing when to turn it all off preserves the emotional stamina vital for our mental health.
With raw emotions like anger, frustration, fear and disbelief - there’s a friction and tension always in need of new coping strategies. I can feel it all, but I can’t let them sabotage how I truly want to show up in the world. The discomfort is in how sharply negative thoughts remind me of a person, I don’t want to become. A shame spiral cascades until I can recognize and soften these critical judgements against myself.
Anger + Shame = a crushing equation, but they’re also a necessary barometer of feeling human. These emotions remind us of what we truly care about by mirroring our beliefs. For me, it requires a processing skill set that I have to consistently work with and expand. Sometimes it’s a heavy weight to lift. Where do I put all of this emotional energy? How do I manage the overload so I am not exhausted and depleted? How do I hear my own truth when all the other noise is so deafening?
Sphere of Influence
Shifting from the big picture to the micro, we can lessen the impact of overwhelm. We can practice narrowing our emotional focus to what is in the present moment with us rather than constructing the tenuous scaffolding of “what ifs.” Future forecasting things that are out of our control cause a ripple effect of anxiety and worry. It risks an emotional tsunami that crashes over us, knocking us off our feet.
Anytime the drama plays out so big, it’s important to let the circle around you get really small. When things are intense one of the best tactics is to simplify.
Next time you feel anxiety creep in, grab your journal and try the “Sphere of Influence” method to get some clarity, free up some mental space, and let go of over-whelm.
To be guided through the whole sphere of influence process read this…
Armored in Integrity.
Much of our inner turmoil comes from our feelings of being unsteady. One thing I keep returning to is the need to armor in my integrity. The desire to get rooted in principles that align with values beyond anger and discord. In confusion and overwhelm, it’s extremely important to be anchored in your core. We are distinguished and defined by what we choose to align with and can stand firmly centered in self. It is a confidence of clarity.
Centered in Self: Techniques and tools to anchor in.
Diagram your thought: Fact, Feeling, Story- Learn to see the difference between the real facts and your emotional bias.
Reframe the thought - When you notice a negative thought, see if there is another more supportive thought that could apply to the moment. What else could be true?
Plan of action- When what if’s cause anxiety, have your plan of action set.
Establish your truth- What do you KNOW to be true above all else?
Have a Mission Statement- Create a statement that sums up exactly what you align with and use it as your benchmark.
One word- Choose one word that reminds you of your peace.
Know your personal boundaries- Remember in Dirty Dancing when Jonny is teaching Baby how to not step on his toes… he holds her arms out, “This is your dance space. This is my dance space.” That pretty much sums up human relations and boundaries. Carefully discern when you let someone else in your dance space.
Over the next few weeks, let’s keep setting this strong foundation. Holding each other up and together is how we keep going forward. Being in community is really important right now. I am so grateful we have this space. Thank you for being here.