How to use the past year as a resource.
Looking in the rear view mirror.
Before setting any goal, you need to do this one very important thing…
You have to take a quick pause and review where you’re coming from to really know where you're heading to. To bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be requires a bit of introspection. We have to look back, not forward.
Sure, I get it, that can be daunting. We fear looking back at mistakes, missed opportunities, and false starts.
But - -this is where we get the special sauce. The magic. The sparkle. ✨ The juice.
We have to approach self reflection with curiosity. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves the hard questions to get a bird’s eye view of what didn’t go the way we wanted or how we expected.
When we begin to see the decisions we made didn’t serve us -- then with compassion, lean in. Hold a gentle understanding that we are learning and becoming with every choice we make.
Failures don’t have to be these dark storm clouds and train wrecks that we envision. What if we begin to see them just as a moment we get re-oriented in ourselves? And ask... “In this big mess…what did go right?” - “What skill did I learn?” - “What talent did I hone?” And when the fire in belly is fierce enough, we glean the best parts of our attempt and go again.
Doubt. The language of fight or flight.
For some gradually, others immediately, we are inspired to approach our life legacy. It’s all a grandiose way of saying we do what we were born to do. It takes a deep reckoning with doubt to own our dharma.
Doubt is just a safety mechanism. It likely started as a child, while our caregivers kept us safe.
They started to introduce worst case scenarios, that would keep us from being too adventurous and any possibility of harm. “If you climb on that you could fall and hurt yourself.” “If you wander off from me, you’ll get lost.” So we learned the fine art of doubting ourselves. What if I do this - thing- and it doesn’t work out? Okay, I’m not going to do that, it’s not safe.
The thing I've observed, over time, is that with doubt there really is only a variation on the same few themes:
Feeling called to contribute something greater, yet remaining unsure of where to begin. Putting yourself out there might mean you get rejected.
Becoming paralyzed by indecision and clouded by the fear of making the “wrong choice”. Not trusting yourself to navigate the experience you choose.
Losing connection to who you are and your creative prowess. Living in disconnection to your passion and your unique flair, style, fire, spark.
Sitting in confusion - - without any clarity of what you deeply want. L.U.I. , Living under the influence. You are becoming too vulnerable to external forces. Intoxicated by distractions
Yet again, it’s our fight or flight system at play. Our central nervous system has become our care-taker, keeping us safe from any harm. Our thoughts come through in the language of doubt. So again, we refrain from being too adventurous.
The dance of your dharma: A tango with Confidence and Doubt.
Doubt is just a lack of confidence, and confidence is just a lack of experience. Both are truthfully in our control in what we do and don’t do.
Confidence needs activation. The biggest way that we gain confidence is through massive action. This is where goals come in. Goals are little strategic steps that coax us forward. With enough fire and consistency, we keep showing up and burn through the doubt. It’s the act of doubting and doing it anyway. It’s the experience of moving through.
Self- inquiry is that golden thread of spirituality in the tapestry of our humanity. A potent potential for transformation. That transformation need not be a change in our appearance or a whole life over-haul. Sometimes the most potent transformation comes in the form of self-love. A powerful acceptance of who we are in our entirety.
The flaws and all. Wabi sabi.
The imperfections that make us unique in our insights and perspectives as we move through the world. Many of our superpowers are derived from the way in which we have overcome obstacles. What we see as imperfections are often what lead us to our calling, our intrinsic purpose - -our dharma.
Join me for an on-line workshop 12/12 @ 6:30 pm. Every paid subscriber has a spot reserved just for them, access to the replay, and a digital copy of the reflect, review, renew journal.
I’ll be there with you answering your questions and guiding you through a three part process to supercharge the New Year and reconnect to your unique path of purpose.
