Indecisive Much?
Ten tips to ignite your power of choice, so you never have to think twice.
Experts suggest we make upwards of 35,000 decisions a day, from what to eat for dinner to which route we take to the grocery store. Some are benign choices that may only affect our comfort levels, while others ultimately keep us alive. It really all comes down to how we view the decisions as they come down the pipeline. As the hippocampus receives sensory stimuli and the prefrontal cortex organizes the information to make a choice, there is an often unconscious moment that leans us toward A or B.
And for some of us overthinkers- C, D, E, and F. Much to my loved ones’ impatient frustration, indecision is my Achilles heel.
For those of us who get hung up on decisions big and small, the struggle is real. Decision fatigue depletes creativity and steals clarity. It’s easy to get caught in a loop where you have nothing left for creative problem-solving or crystal clear choices. Intuition is masked by an overwhelming amount of information rattling around in our noggin’.
While it can be exhausting, there is a danger in decision fatigue as we leave choices to other people. From politics to religion, we hand it over- “Here you make the decision for me. I’m too tired from deciding what to have for breakfast.” We get lost in the social media jungle, relying on viral influencers showing us what to buy, how to hack, and how to explode our online business. Maybe that’s just my algorithm. Just give me animal videos and leave me be.
The looming shadows to every decision.
When we let fear chime in, every decision seems life or death. Not everything is so epic. Teetering on the edge of a mountain or molehill, while a great internal debate initiates. What will keep things safe and easy? What will keep us liked and admired? This mental chatter is brain clutter keeping you from moving forward.
The three shadows of every decision are perfectionism, overwhelm, and people-pleasing. All three keep us stuck and disempowered. When we are drowsy in decision fatigue, we go into one of these three default modes. There are some powerful questions to ask yourself and key strategies to employ as you ride the waves as choices come and go.
Perfectionism:
Self-worth gets entangled in decision making, as we categorize choices that make us “good”or “bad,” based on the outcome of our decision. We wonder and worry that in making the wrong decision someone will judge us if a plan didn’t pan out. We fear looking silly for taking a risk then ruthlessly criticize ourselves for messing things up.
If we hold ourselves to impossible standards, our confidence is pierced with a fear of failure. We become frozen in indecision because we can’t decide the best path to take. We all want to make the perfect “right” choice. The one that sends us soaring towards our goals and successes.
Yet aside from laws of physics, no outcome is 100 percent predictable. The most important part of any decision is trusting that you can handle any situation your choice delivers. You are resourced in the power of creativity to find solutions and resolutions. Not all decisions are final or permanent, just by simply making another decision you are on a path of recourse. There is no failing, if you let it all in to be part of the experience. Even in an unexpected or unintended direction, there is something to gain.
Key Strategy: Shift your thoughts on failure. Navigating the path of our decision is how we gain experience. It’s how we learn.
Power Question: Will this really matter 3 years from now?
Overwhelm:
This one goes hand in hand with over-thinking. The curse of the what ifs. In a coping strategy for anxiety, the brain will imagine all possible scenarios. There is always a way through with a back up plan for a back up plan. Anticipating every outcome is a way to steel our nerves. It lends a sense of blind preparedness.
In uncertainty, there is often a quest for information. Knowledge can be like a security blanket for confidence. However, it’s easy to go overboard when researching, reading reviews, creating brain maps and vision boards. However, once we collect too many resources inevitably they conflict. What we thought would bring us clarity, can confuse us even more.
There’s a power surge in the decision making part of our brain, we get overloaded and shut down. The safety becomes procrastination. In a subconscious willingness to postpone all choices, some decisions are made for us as options slowly fall away. Holding off on a decision only circulates the questions in your head another day. It slowly exhausts your vital energy.
Key Strategy: Put it on paper, if the mind gets too full of thoughts, options, and opinions. Trust your gut. Learn to let yourself be guided by intuition over information.
Power Question: What is keeping you from making a decision, is it a lack of information or a lack of confidence?
People pleasing:
With the tendency to diminish our own needs to make more room for others, we bury what we really feel. The volume on our intuition gets turned down so low, it becomes hard to hear over everyone else’s loud wants and opinions. We can even get into the habit of ignoring it on purpose. Keeping the peace, avoiding conflict, and being liked take precedence over every other motivation.
There’s a beauty in compromise, however concern in sacrifice. Putting someone else’s needs before our own consistently keeps us from your own goals and dreams. It seems easier to let someone else move life along, rather than being proactive in our own journey. Part of that is because we’re so exhausted from saying “yes” to everyone else.
While it’s sometimes noble to put others first, chronic people pleasing erodes our own self-worth. Our needs and desires lose their voice. The impact of our own experience, perspectives and successes are diminished. When we downplay our own values and priorities, our living loses its fire.
Key Strategy: Stay rooted in your own dreams, needs, desires, and goals. Schedule your priorities first.
Power question: Does the decision at hand take you in the direction of your goal or away from it?
Quick tips to flex your prefrontal cortex.
Like most things, skills come from practice. These ten tips will spark confident choices, so you never look back.
Divination: Flip a coin. Pull a card. You get a definitive answer, but then can quickly discover how you feel in your reaction to the answer.
Get Grounded: Take a few moments to tune into your breath, release the pressure and tension over the outcome.
Om it out: Take a slow full inhale and mentally recite Om on the exhale. Simultaneously trace your awareness from head to toes as if you're sweeping out the mental clutter. Repeat as you settle into a calm, clear, collected headspace.
Pros and Cons list: When you read through your list, focus on how the pros and cons make you feel. Are you more excited by the pros or are the cons more assured?
Write it down: Get it out of your head and onto some paper. You’ll either answer your own questions or be able to revisit it later without draining your energy by over-thinking.
Zoom out: See the big picture. Which choice gets you closer to your final goal?
Go with your gut: Learn how to hear your intuitive voice. Be guided from within.
Schedule your priorities first: This will establish some boundaries and limitations for all the other people you say “yes” to.
Create routines and plans: Having meal plans and self-care routines will cut down on the decision fatigue of what to do on the daily.
Yes/No Simplicity: Let the story go. Practice being simple. Not every decision needs a full internal monologue. Not everyone needs a full explanation of why you need to say “no.”
Our early years were spent needing other people to make decisions for us. Through life lessons, we own our sovereignty and discover the power of choice. The most important part of any decision is believing you can navigate any situation your choice delivers. It’s a trust in self. Resourced in the power of creativity you find solutions to and resolutions for the outcome.
It’s like the Wizard of Oz, when we give all the power to an outside source, we’re left in a position where we can only be led. You hold the wisdom to choose what is best for your life. The key is believing that truth. The answers - the courage, the compassion, and intelligence are already inside of you. The yellow brick road is paved in your confidence. Dorothy - get your shoes. There’s no place like OM.
(And that’s my yoga pun for the day. So bad, it’s good. You’re welcome.)
